Hilda Friday is a college student who employs creative writing as a method of avoiding doing real work. She also reads frequently to avoid writing, because despite how much she loves writing, reading is less effort and better at instant gratification. Hilda enjoys swimming, sleeping, eating, and drawing, and only regrets that it is difficult to do all of that at the same time. She often gets in arguments with herself about oddly deep questions, and concludes those debates by resolving that she should stop thinking and go back to studying rather than wasting tuition money. Hilda’s only realistic goal in life is to have a comfortable bed with cool blankets, but she has many unrealistic goals like “make the list of Top 100 Modern Novels” or “be on the cover of Time” or “be able to tell the difference between a normal newspaper and The Onion.” Someday Hilda hopes to actually finish writing stories for teens and young adults instead of just composing them in her head and then putting them off in order to watch silly videos on the internet, but the name of Hilda’s favorite game is procrastination. And Monopoly.